


An Old Hope

by Cellardoor26



Series: The Course of True Love Never Did Run Smooth [3]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Fusion, Alternate Universe - Modern: No Powers, And then the beginnings of fluff, Angst, Bring On The Pining, F/M, PG 13/R for reasons, So much angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-04
Updated: 2020-08-10
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:55:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25712428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cellardoor26/pseuds/Cellardoor26
Summary: Dimly, Rey could hear Rose’s voice, but she’d quite lost the ability to understand human speech. Standing across the room from her was Benjamin Organa Solo.--------Part Two of a Three Part Series, AU Fusion where Star Wars meets something similar to but not-quite-like our world. There will be pining, true love, true pain, adventure, puns, friendship, and since it's Rey's POV - so many descriptions of food.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Series: The Course of True Love Never Did Run Smooth [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1864831
Comments: 4
Kudos: 18





	1. 1

At 9:47pm, in the cool autumn night, when all was fast and loud and largely joyous, Rey danced with Rose. They both sang off tune to the latest song blaring from the speakers surrounding them, Rey’s hand tugging on her skirt to make sure it didn’t ride up - the gesture speaking more to her unfamiliarity with the garment than the worry that her dancing would cause the skirt’s movement. Rey felt a sense of giddiness, happy to be with her friend, both of them waiting for the rest of the group, dancing in a crowd of unfamiliar people.

Rey closed her eyes, trying to feel the beat of the song in her body, willing her mind quiet and body alive with the thrum of life. She’d eaten very little today and the shot of tequila she’d taken with Rose fifteen minutes earlier lent a flush to her cheeks and easy peace through her.

“Oh Rey! There’s Phasma and her latest man.” Rey opened her eyes, curious to see the latest in Phasma’s long line. Thus far there weren't any similar features between the bevy of men, and there was a bet amongst the group to find out a distinguishing feature.

“Oh where?!” Rey asked, turning around, eyes searching for Phasma’s bright white hair. Her eyes veered against silky black hair instead. Dimly, Rey could hear Rose’s voice, but she’d quite lost the ability to understand human speech. Standing across the room from her was Ben Solo.

Her heart kicked into overdrive as her eyes roamed his form, her mind a cacophony of signals. Even months later she wouldn’t be able to describe everything running through her mind, but some thoughts were stronger than others.

First was disbelief. Her eyes ran across his frame, checking his hair length and the moles on her face, flashing to his eyes and then skirting back to the planes of his chest. He looked so similar, yet he was foreign to her. He looked healthy, he stood taller.

Painfully the second feeling was an intense joy, that he looked well, that he in one piece, safe; she felt her body thrum. There were no thoughts of his betrayal, none of their long absence, her eyes continued to devour his form. She looked at his body language, noticing how tightly coiled he stood, clearly uncomfortable to be around so many people, and his arm- she could see his fingers curled around Phasma’s natural waist.

Obviously the next feeling was heartbreak. It eclipsed everything else.

Rey choked out a sob, willing her body to leave it at that. The music was loud enough to cover it up, and the only person near enough to have worried about it was distracted, waving Phasma over.

“C’mon, there’s too many people, let’s go over and introduce ourselves.” Rose had dragged them halfway across the living room before Rey managed to understand human speech again, playing back Rose’s words, and she experienced a feeling greater than heartbreak; horror. She meant to pull her arm from Rose and turn around, explanations be damned, but Rose was still waving, and it caught the eye of Ben. She watched, horror melting into something like fear, as he took in the sight of them, and then, oh god, and then she was looking into his eyes. Ben’s gaze was just as intense as she remembered. He didn’t look her over, categorizing her as she had done to him, he simply stared, his gaze exactly as she remembered; intense longing and overwhelming; pinning her to him, she couldn’t escape even if she wanted to, and god how she wanted to.

Rey felt frantic, overwhelmed. Dimly she wondered if she was going to faint or throw up- her body wasn’t equipped to handle seeing Ben again, not when she hadn’t any warning. Not after so long.

Rose deposited them six inches from the couple, the crush of the party and volume of the music not allowing for more space. Rey, quite against herself, tilted her head up, maintaining their eye contact. She noticed a faint smile lit his features, as though he were pleased to see her, pleased she wasn’t running from him, so pleased...

A part of Rey wondered why Ben didn’t look shocked or surprised. He was looking at her as he always had, this intense friction, as though he wanted just so much, that he would devour her with his consuming desire for her- Rey was jostled out of her thoughts by Rose’s arm. Rey turned to look at Rose, and then at her gesture her eyes moved to Phasma.

“I said; Kylo, this is Rey. Rey, Kylo Ren.” Rey’s brow wrinkled in confusion, what was Ben doing going by that moniker? Rey’s eyes skirtered against Phasma’s form, noticing Ben’s arm around her. God, why did it hurt just as much to see it the second time?

“Nice to meet you Rey.” Ben said, lifting up his hand, the tips of his fingers inches from her bare stomach. It was the first time she’d heard his voice in nearly a year, since she’d heard her name in his timber, how devastating to realize it had the same effect on her; she was indescribably pleased to hear it.

Not wholly aware of herself, Rey’s hand reached out, the barest of touches as the tips of their fingers. Even with the dark interior of the room Rey saw Ben’s reaction; eyes widened, shoulders angled her way.

“Ben.” She breathed out, eyes momentarily closing. When she opened them Ben was staring at her, his gaze more intense, looking like he was trying to read her mind. He seemed endlessly pleased that she was so flustered. Rey reminded herself he was probably happy she wasn’t making a scene. Really she should be yelling at him, but the shock of him after so many months without a whisper or word; it had rendered her mute.

“It’s Ren actually.” Phasma corrected, her voice taking on an air of amusement, “Kylo Ren. Don’t mind her Kylo, Rey can be a bit odd when she meets new people.” Now it was Rey’s turn for her eyes to widen, she quickly dropped her hand and focused on Phasma.

“Thanks Phe.” Phasma made a shushing gesture.

“Anytime. You look amazing by the way, I’m so glad you borrowed that outfit.” Rose hurried up to compliment Rey.

“Yes! Girl, you are glowing! You should totally show off your midriff more often.” Rey’s hands instinctively rose to the patch of flesh you could see between the gap of the skirt and shirt she was wearing. Earlier she’d felt daring and risque, now she felt like a child playing dress up.

“Oh well…” Rey trailed off, her eyes finding Ben’s. A lifetime ago she’d have sought his eyes for comfort, for confidence, it seemed old habits die hard. Now Ben’s eyes were trained at the skin she was covering up. Thankfully Rey didn’t have to finish her sentence because Finn showed up.

“Ladies!” He called out, so loud they could hear from the designated coat room across the way. He drew up to the group and threw his arms around Rose and Rey’s shoulders, pulling them in for a tight squeeze. “Oh hey, you’re Kylo right? I’m Finn, good to meet you.” Ben said nothing, his eyes resting on Finn’s arm as it rested on Rey. Oh that’s right, when he’d left she still wouldn’t let anyone touch her. Of course back then he would never have his arm around someone else, but as the world turns and all that.

“Nice to meet you.” Ben said, his eyes glaring daggers at Finn’s arm. No one commented on this.

“Cool man. So what were we talking about?” It was Phasma who answered, an amused air about her.

“Rey’s midriff.”

“Oh yeah it’s top notch. Probably the best I’ve ever seen.”

“Finn!” Rey burst out, dying of mortification and absurdly pleased. Ben squeezed Phasma’s side so tightly she elbowed him to let go. It felt like he was boring holes into her flesh, and Rey turned uncomfortably.

“Why are you covering it up? Give the people what they want!” Rey burst out laughing. Usually she capitulated whenever the group requested something silly of her, but Ben rattled her, and her arms crossed against her stomach.

“Guys!” She declared. Whatever she was going to say next was lost as Poe found the group.

“There you all are! I’ve been texting the group chat trying to find you.” With one look about the group he added; “What are we embarrassing Rey about?” a drink in his hand. Once again Phasma answered, her voice colored by a joke she found endlessly amusing.

“Some of us in the group want to see Rey’s midriff.” Poe, never one to back down from embarrassing Rey, quickly joined in.

“YES! I feel like this calls for a chant.”

“No!” Rey burst out, trying to look anywhere but Ben. She turned her pleading eyes to Rose, who could generally be considered the voice of reason.

“Guys, no-” Rose called out, and Rey felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude that disappeared as she watched Rose’s devious smile manifest, “let’s tickle her instead!” It was well known in the group that Rey was the most satisfying to tickle.

“Rose!” Rey called out, spinning to the middle of their cramped circle. They converged and Rey tried to back up, forgetting for a moment that Ben was right behind her. Her arms had left the comfort of her stomach as she reached out to block their arms, but there were far too many of them, and Rey was already comforting herself with the thought it would be over soon when she felt her back bump against Ben’s chest. She felt him move - probably to get away from her, he certainly couldn’t want to tickle her- and then his voice in her ear,

“Since when have you been in need of saving?” and his arms came across her, lifted her up, and suddenly she was cradled in his embrace. For a moment the world stopped existing, Rey was once again in his embrace, feeling his breath tickle the hairs on her neck, his heart pumping against hers, tragically out of sync, it was only the two of them- and then the world sped up again. Ben had always been tall for his age, and she’d seen how easily he’d taken down opponents with his strength, but this was an entirely different sort of demonstration. He lifted her high enough that the group couldn’t easily reach her sides, twisting so they couldn’t catch her.

The group whined at Ben’s actions until Finn’s voice broke out of the rumble,

“Ok you can put her down, we’ll be good.” It seemed in reaction to Finn that Ben pulled her closer, and Rey felt in danger of vertigo.

“Ben Organa Solo put me down.” She gritted through her teeth. Ben didn’t respond as he lowered her back to the feet. Except once she was on solid fitting his mouth dipped to her ear.

“Actually I prefer when you call me ‘Maker’.” And damn him because for just a moment she forgot the time and space they’d transversed, that he’d abandoned her and she’d promised herself not to let him back in- because she laughed. She barely heard his voice rasp as he said her name, still, the embarrassment of showing that she still thought he was funny, that he could still get her to smile even now, it was intolerable. The moment he let her go Rey knew she had to get away from this waking nightmare.

“Anyone want a drink?” She asked, walking away from them before she could hear a response.

“I’ll go after her, make sure she doesn’t poison us.” Finn said, turning after Rey. Phasma smiled at them and grabbed Ben’s arm,

“Come darling, let’s take a turn about the room.”

Rey was not breathing in a calm, meditative manner as she’d been taught when in serious emotional conflict. Instead she was guzzling the drink in her cup, which has begun by burning her throat but now coated her mouth in sugar. She was pretty sure her tongue would be stained red by the end of the night. Finn was watching her with wide eyes.

“Ok, did that guy try something? I didn’t see his hands roaming but..” Rey finished her glass and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, finally looking at Finn with a glazed look.

“What? Oh, no. I just had an awful double shift. Can you make me another one? A bit stronger?”

Finn looked at her in surprise but took her cup and turned to the counter, dutifully pouring that same concoction. With his back turned he added in less vodka than before.

“You should drink water.” He added helpfully as he handed her the cup. Rey nodded, head already tipped back as she drank. Without pause she turned her head from the kitchen into the hallway, looking for Ben. Hoping she couldn’t see him and dreadfully disappointed when she didn’t catch sight of him. She turned back to Finn, who was sipping his beer. She watched him open his mouth, sure to ask her questions she had no intention of answering. With an uncomfortable swallow Rey finished her drink, handing it back to Finn.

“I’m gonna find the loo. Can you manage the drinks for the group by yourself?” She asked, already edging towards the hallway.

“Rey..”

“Thanks!” Rey called out, ignoring Finn as he told her she was going the wrong way. Rey moved on autopilot, ignoring the way the world tipped on her drunk legs. She estimated she’d had about four shots, which shouldn’t have been too bad, except she’d barely eaten anything today, and the shock of seeing Ben after ten months was enough to make her feel drunk on its own.

She disappeared into the room that held her things, and it only took her a moment to find them. Shrugging on her coat; Rey wrapped her scarf around her as she dug into her pocket for an energy bar. With efficient bites Rey ate the bar, struggling for clarity of mind as nothing made sense around her. Within moments the bar was gone, and she pulled her scarf over her face, pretending for a moment nothing was real, that she was alone on an island surrounded by water, that she was safe.

But Rey couldn’t truly disengage, not with the pounding music and knowledge that Ben, her Ben, was in the other room, going by Kylo Ren, totally unaffected to see her. With a bone shaking sigh Rey rose, and then swung her backpack on one shoulder, feeling calmed by the familiar weight. She was fine, everything was fine. She’d survived Ben leaving her, she could very well manage him appearing again.

Of course now he was dating Phasma, which was heartbreaking in its own right.

Shaking her head at the thought Rey crept to the front door, reaching for her phone. Wind blasted her cheeks, shocking her enough to think again. Even with the bar she’d eaten, Rey was really too drunk to be by herself, and she was supposed to sleep over at Rose’s tonight. Only the thought of going back inside, or chancing upon Ben was too much to bear. Ben, who'd ignored her letters for months and months just to show up on her friend’s arm. Who clearly wasn’t surprised to see her, which meant he knew. He knew where she was and didn’t care, hadn’t tried to see her, had no intention of coming back for her…

Rey wasn’t sure how long she was lost in her thoughts, but knew she had to get out of it. Giving way to one of her least healthy coping mechanisms Rey clenched her fist, letting her nails dig into her palms, hoping to draw blood, hoping for the clarity of thought it brought. Except it had been a long time since she’d tried this coping mechanism, and her nails were too short for real damage. Rey released a sob, just one, before grabbing her phone, flipping it over to text Rose. Her fingers hovered over the keypad, unsure what to write. She brought her other hand to her face, desperately wanting to be brave and… what? Did she want to go back inside and yell at Ben? To go back inside and pretend he was nothing to her? Did she want to call Rose and run away, pretending she hadn’t seen Ben, didn’t know he was there? That he was going by a different name yet so remarkably unchanged?

The door banged open and Rey flinched, schooling her features before turning to face the person leaving. She hoped it was Rose, spotting her outside and ready to go on with their night, that it was Finn, checking on her; but truly it was the traitorous part of her that made her turn around, who wished it was Ben coming to check on her, to explain everything.

“Leaving so soon?” Phasma asked, her tone more mysterious than usual.

“Phe.” Rey breathed out. She closed her eyes, too hurt to look at her friend. “Listen um, I know this sounds crazy but…” How could she explain? Should she even try?

“My supposed lover Kylo Ren is really your mysterious Ben Solo, the man whose heart you hold though he has abstained from your presence these past ten months?” Rey’s breath left her all at once, she wanted to sink to the ground.

“Supposed?” She asked, treacherous hope warring against a lifetime of cruelty. It was too dark to make out Phasma’s face, but her tone had changed at Rey’s unspoken question.

“If you call listening to him wax poetic about you while three sheets to the wind, then yes we are quite as close as lovers.” Sometimes Rey truly loved Phasma and her desire to mimic prose as all Literature majors aspired to, but right now Rey could bludgeon her.

“Phe?” And her voice broke on the nickname, not able to continue, hope springing in her chest.

“Rey, I wouldn’t, he’s yours truly.” A sob broke out that Rey couldn’t have stifled if she tried.

“Then why hasn’t he returned… I haven’t seen him… How did you two meet?”

"I caught him staring at you through the window of Maz's, gazing as though he were a man stumbling out of the desert and you were his Oasis. Such a look could only have come from your man Solo. As for why you haven’t heard from him-" Phasma broke off, just then the gang stomped outside, complaining of the sharp temperature change. Immediately Poe tackled her into a hug.

“Rey beam you forgive us, don’t you? We’ve all promised not to tickle you for the rest of the night.” Behind Poe’s shoulder Rey heard a chorus of voices agreeing to his statement.

“Of course.” Rey said, pushing her face into Poe’s shoulder so her voice would be muffled and the emotion choking her wouldn’t be so obvious.

“You are the most forgiving of all women.” Poe continued, spinning her around and leaving her off balance. Rey thought for a moment she’d fall, but someone grabbed her arm, lending her strength. “Now onwards, the night awaits.”

“Thanks.” Rey said quietly, ready to follow the group. Except the person kept hold, and Rey knew from the moment his hand touched her arm that it was Ben. It felt inevitable to look up, eyes seeking his. He was looking at her so tenderly, the exact way she remembered that night at the hospital, their hands clenched tightly as he tried to apologize through gaze alone. Without the conscious desire Rey left herself softening, turning to face him more fully. Ben was here, did that mean he had returned for her?

Caught in her musing Rey hadn’t noticed the group had made their way to the sidewalk, that Poe was staring at them, his voice carrying over.

“Kylo, you can let go of our little Rey bird.” Rey startled, breaking eye contact and trying once more to detach his hand and follow the group. He didn’t let go.

“Ben, what are you doing here?” She asked, refusing to look at him. Phasma’s words swirled in her head, battling against Ben’s actions. Nothing made sense and she felt like she should be yelling at him except she didn’t know where to start and she was still so very drunk.

“It looks good on you.” He finally answered, his hand moved to her neck, and she thought for a moment he’d bring her face close to kiss him, but no, he merely touched her scarf, pulling one side to more firmly rest against her neck. Rey let him without comment, turning over the words in her head. His nearness fogged her mind, and he’d dropped his hand before his words formed meaning; the black scarf she was wearing originally belonged to him. She acutely remembered pulling it on when she’d left him in the hospital room; how she’d been wearing it when he promised her he’d write, that he’d return the moment he could; that he wouldn’t abandon her like everyone else had.

Anger flashed hot in her breast and she began unwinding it;

“Just- just take it and just go.” She placed it in his hands and ran to catch up with the group, ignoring his sharp intake of breath, how it sounded like her name, like heartbreak.

A bit further along Poe sidled up to Phasma, the last two in their group ambling forth.

“Phasma darling, is it me or does your boy Kylo seem weirdly, intensely into Rey?”

“Poe dear, I think it would take an idiot to imagine otherwise.”


	2. 2

Rey waited for the vindictive glee to settle on her as she walked next to Finn and Rose, listening to them argue whether pizza or tacos was the perfect hangover food. She wanted to feel as though she’d finally scored a point against Ben, that this insane situation made any sort of sense. Rey wanted a lot of things, but truly all she felt was cold; there was a bite to the air and the wind wasn’t helping anything. As she listened to Rose explain how tacos were co-opted by counter-cultural youths Rey let down her hair and pulled up her hood, sticking her hands in her pockets and trying to remember how many blocks they’d need to walk to the next party. Rey was pulled from her thoughts by Finn and Rose’s argument.

“Rose, you can’t seriously tell me you’d turn down free pizza.” Finn exclaimed, his words harsh but joy in his eyes, “Rey you have to agree with me- wait, where’s your scarf?” He threw his arms out, stopping Rey and Rose, and drawing that group’s total attention.

“What scarf?”

“You know, that thing you wear every day, even when it’s too hot out.” Finn said fondly, looking at her like she was an adorable idiot. “Did you leave it at Jessika and Mark’s? Should we head back and get it and meet the group at Alema’s?”

“Oh well..” Rey couldn’t imagine how to respond. _No, I gave it back to Ben, who you know as Kylo Ren, in a fit of anger that I’m now regretting because my ears are about to fall off._

“This one?” Ben asked, his quiet voice cutting directly through her. It would be the normal thing to look back at him, to acknowledge that yes, that was her scarf, to thank him. Rey just looked over at Rose, who was scrolling through her phone, looking annoyed. Were she that phone.

“Yeah man!” Finn responded, grabbing it from Ben. Rey heard his snort of annoyance. She couldn’t not hear it. “Rey you must have dropped this! How much have you had to drink?” With a familiarity more due to his state of insobriety that how they usually behaved Finn pulled down her hood and began wrapping the scarf around her neck. Rey could feel Ben’s eyes wherever Finn touched her. For the first time tonight Rey felt in control, was Ben jealous? While Rey was not one to allow liberties she didn’t offer, the idea that Ben was upset intoxicated her, and she let Finn continue.

“You’ve always been so protective over the stupid thing, does this mean you’re finally over the mysterious ex who gave it to you?” Finn swept his hands under her scarf, pulling her hair on top and then patting it down. Rey ignored him, her eyes drawn to Ben, feeling an overwhelming sense of delight as Ben tensed, looking murderous. It was a balm to her soul, that he was so affected by the innocence of Finn putting a scarf on her. Then Rey heard Finn’s words, and she turned back to Finn, apprehensive by how his hands had settled on her hair and the look he was giving her. Instantly she broke from Finn’s touch.

“None of your business!” Rey snapped, walking over to Rose and grabbing her arm, pulling her ahead of the group.

“What did I say?” Finn asked, turning to Poe.

“Did you notice Phasma was retraining Ben?” Rose asked, her phone forgotten. “It looked like he wanted to kill Finn.”

“He’s not the only one, that man has spent far too much time with Poe.” Rey sighed, pulling on Rose to increase their speed. Then she heard the rest of what Rose said, “Wait, you know he’s Ben?” Rose looked panicked, and then confused.

“Wait, you know his name is Ben?” Rose responded.

“Rose.” Rey began, feeling a headache starting, “What is going on?”

“Ok, well, don’t be mad. Phasma messaged me yesterday that she found this guy she thinks would be perfect for you, like a kismet match, but since he has the same name as your, um, friend, ex? You wouldn’t go for him. And Rey it’s totally true. When you guys met - I have never seen you act like that over a guy, and Kylo seems like, totally obsessed with you. You know I think love at first sight is a joke but you should have seen the way he acted, it was like no one else existed for him except for you.”

“Oh. My. God.” Rey whisper yelled, “Phasma is far too obsessed with Core District period pieces with complicated plots and hidden character motivations.” Rose looked at her in confusion.

“I mean, pretending to date him is pretty weird, but Phe was pretty sure if she brought him as a friend you would ignore him like you do whenever we try to set you up.” Rey opened her mouth to explain but Rose continued mercilessly, “Which is totally your prerogative. It’s just, we really want you to be happy. And I’ve seen the way you keep glancing at him, I think he could be really good for you.” Rey looked at Rose in silence. Unsure how to explain the mess of this evening.

“Look, if you’re really not ready I’ll tell the group I’m feeling sick and we can go back to my dorm room and watch movies and we don’t have to think about this for the rest of the night. But if there’s even a part of you that’s opened up to this then I think you owe it to yourself to see where the night takes you. What do you want Rey?”

“I…” What did she want? Rey rubbed her forehead with her hand, standing with Rose as the group caught up. She was full of indecision.

“Ladies!” Poe called out, “Hux texted Phe that the next party’s a bust, and if he’s saying that it must really be lame.”

“I can’t believe you still talk to him!” Finn said, tone veering from incredulous to hurt.

“He forgave your debts, didn’t he?” Phe reminded him.

“Anyway,” Poe continued, wanting to get the party back on track, “Kylo’s offered his abode, with his mother’s homemade lasagna and access to his HoloNet, all for the measly price of some beer. Which one of you wants to come with Finn and me to get libations, and which one will catch a transport with Kylo and Phe?”

“Oh, um.” Rose began, viewing Rey’s indecision as lack of desire.

“I’ll take the transport.” Rey answered

“Great!” Rose said, with surprised happiness.

“Great.” Phasma responded, cheerful amusement lit her features.

“Great.” Rey muttered.

The three of them were silent as church mice once the boys and Rose had left. Ben was gazing at Rey, standing in front of her so the wind wouldn’t reach her, mouth opening and closing as he fought for the right thing to say. Rey was staring at Ben’s shoes, wondering if she’d seen them before and quite certain this was all a bad idea, while Phasma looked at her phone and then the street.

“There it is.” Phe called out, jostling everyone out of their thoughts. She opened the door and gestured for them to get inside. With a final look at Rey Ben slid to the edge of the seat bench. Rey waited for Phasma to go next, and when she stood patiently for her Rey scoffed; “Shouldn’t you be sitting next to your boyfriend?” Rey felt a bit embarrassed at how vehement she sounded.

“Darling, there isn’t anyone else here. Wouldn’t you rather be antagonizing Ben than me?” Rey sighed loudly and climbed inside. It was only when she’d settled against Ben, seat belt clicked, expecting Phasma to join them that the door shut. “I’ll take the next one!” Phasma said through the door, shifting to repeat her message to the driver. Rey looked out in surprise, her eyes watched Phasma as the driver took off.

“Did you know about this?” Rey asked, settling back in her seat.

“No, this night has completely escaped me.” Rey choked out a laugh, on that they could agree.

“Why did you even agree to Phasma’s plan? It’s totally insane.”

“It hasn’t gone too poorly.” Ben’s voice settled on her like a blanket, and she was uniquely aware that she was still sitting in the middle of the seat, still pressed against Ben though there was no third person to warrant it. Her hand slipped to her seat belt when his hand covered hers. “Rey, I... I’ve missed you.” Rey’s eyes closed, caught in the cacophony of her emotions one sentence could bring. It hurt to hear it, it hurt that a part of her had been waiting for him to say it, that she felt elated and soothed. It hurt that she could hear the emotion in his voice and with her entire being she craved only to hear more.

“Have you? Because I didn’t go halfway around the world without another word. I didn’t promise to write and then refuse, I didn’t ignore countless handwritten letters, and I certainly didn’t arrive home long enough to plan some grand scheme with Phasma but not contact you.” Rey waited for Ben to flinch away from her, perhaps punch the seat in front of them, to yell. Instead he remained calm, thumb stroking her hand as he looked at her with such unabashed tenderness. Rey looked at him, terribly confused; earlier he had seemed so much like before, but this was a new Ben she was sitting next to., 

“Are those my only crimes?” He asked, his gaze gentle on her. “I expected you to continue for a while longer.” His fingers grazed the apex of her right shoulder, the spot where she’d been given a scar ten months before.

“Ben.” Rey breathed out, “I think you’re forgetting how I repaid that.” Seeing his raised eyebrow she added, “Besides, you already asked for my forgiveness and you haven’t been around long enough for me to have taken it back.”

“It shouldn’t have been given the first time, I can only imagine it would be impossible to gain a second.” Rey wrinkled her nose at him, she forgot how annoying he could be, hiding his vulnerability with esoteric quotations. God, the hours she’d spent trying to figure out what he’d meant.

“Ben, just please, give me a straight answer. You promised me when you left that you would write to me. Why didn’t you?” And God help her because she began crying, fat teardrops that rolled down her cheeks. Ben’s hand came to her cheek, wiping at tears, his own eyes mysteriously bright.

“Rey, I wrote you hundreds.” The world stopped. Desperate hope bloomed in her chest and Rey looked at Ben through a myriad of tears. He was looking at her like he missed her just as much as she missed him, his fingers so gentle as he touched her cheek. But then the car stopped and reality reasserted herself.

Rey furiously unclicked her seat belt, grabbing her bag from the floor and nearly vaulting out of the cab.

“Rey!” Ben called, chasing after her, forgetting to unlock his seat belt in his haste. Rey spun around, her chest heaving, and she could barely see him through tears.

“Where are they then, Ben? Hm? Where are my letters?” Rey choked out, furiously wiping at her face, “Because I haven’t gotten any mail from you, not in all the time you’ve been gone!”

“I didn’t send them to you.” Ben replied, as though this were a perfectly reasonable explanation. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his handkerchief. The sight of it stirred at her memories, making her irate.

“You didn’t send them to me? You didn’t send them to me?” Rey ignored his handkerchief and punched his arm. When he didn’t react she tried to push him. It was like pushing a tree. Still, Rey was as stubborn as they came, and she kept pushing against him as she continued; “That doesn’t make any sense.”

“Listen,” Ben began, putting his hands on her shoulders, keeping her centered, “things were in an upheaval when I left. I couldn’t be sure where you’d be, so I sent them to unc-, to Luke instead.” Rey stopped pushing against Ben, hands resting on his chest as she looked up at him in a daze.

“You sent them to Luke?” Rey asked. It was impossible to ask without unabashed puzzlement.

“Yes.”

“But..” _That doesn't make any sense_ , Rey wanted to say. “Well guess what? I live with Luke. I didn’t get a single letter from you.”

“I know that now.” Ben bit out, “When you didn’t respond I erroneously assumed you were still angry with me, and after everything that happened I couldn’t blame you. It wasn’t until I returned home that Luke confessed he’d kept them.”

“Why would Luke do that?” Ben looked at her, pained and unsure what to say. Rey could only think of when she’d seen Luke break down, crying over her hand and thanking her for saving Ben. After the years he’d spent bringing them together it didn’t make sense he’d try to separate them now. “Did Luke save them?” Ben clenched his jaw.

“Yes. ”

“Does he still have them or did he give them to you?” Rey continued, rubbing her hands over Ben’s chest for warmth, and, all right, because she was desperate to. Her movements jostled Ben’s hold and he slipped his arms around her, his hands spanning her back.

“They’re upstairs.” Rey nodded, feeling suddenly weightless. It had been a heavy burden, assuming that Ben hadn’t tried to keep his promise to her, that he could have dropped communication between them so easily. Knowing that he had written to her made her feel giddy in a way she hadn’t been in months.

“When did you last get a haircut?” She asked, one hand coming to the base of his head, touching the ends.

“I..” It was clear he wasn’t expecting her to ask him that. “I’m not sure. Seethree, one of the monks, used to shave my head every few months, but it’s been awhile.” Rey hummed, watching her fingers as it glided through his hair.

“Has Leia bemoaned the state of it?” Ben clutched her more tightly, understanding what she was really asking.

“Yes, I’ve seen Mom and Dad already.” It was a mundane sentence but Rey smiled, thrilled he wasn’t calling his parents by their first names. She decided she could be generous, even though it was clear that Ben had been back for at least a week or two. Rey reached up, cupping his face with her hands.

“Oh Ben, I’m so happy for you.” Ben smiled, his mouth closed, yet no less joyous. This was like the dreams she used to have, when he’d come home and everything would be all right. “You really wrote to me the whole time you were away?”

“My penmanship picks up after the first month, though I can’t comment on the content.” His words were dry but his tone was so sweet, his hold so tight, Rey was reminded fiercely of last year when he promised his place was with her. Rey stretched up, lifting her feet so her face was closer to his, not wanting any distance between them.

“And you always meant to come back to me?” It was the alcohol that made her bold enough to say it, her thumb stroking his cheek.

“Always.” Ben responded, leaning into the touch. Rey was so thrilled she nearly couldn’t trust it, that she could be this happy after so long.

“Luke said you would return after six months, how come you had to stay so much longer?” Ben looked pained. He let the silence stretch and Rey tilted her head up, no longer caring what his answer was, desperate to kiss him.

“I did return after six months.” Rey’s childhood had given her a few quirks; she was loath to turn down free food, she had a pathological need to learn anything she didn’t know, and her body reacted before her mind understood a situation in its entirety. It was for this third reason that Rey flinched as though burned, scrambling to get out of Ben’s embrace. Ben let her go without comment. It was only when she stared at him, eyes roving over his face as he looked at her with a grand apology that her mind caught up to what her body knew, and made sense of what he’d said.

“Six months?!” Rey nearly screamed. “Six months? Last time I checked Ben, you were gone for nearly ten months, care to explain what you were doing for the last four?!” Ben opened his mouth and then closed it, offering up no excuse. Rey felt fury in her blood. In a strange sense she felt closer to him than when they’d been intertwined, this felt like the rage Ben always had rippling under his surface. Her body sang for her to hurt him as desperately as he’d hurt her, to let him feel all her helplessness, her loneliness while they’d been apart.

She watched Ben as he recognized the look in her. She waited for his own anger to flare up in response, but all she saw was understanding and grace; he didn’t move. Rey knew suddenly that whatever she did next he would accept, whether cruel words, or punishing fists, but he wouldn’t fight back. It was that keen acceptance that extinguished her fury; how could she hate him when he wouldn’t hate her back? Rey felt more drained than ever.

“Hey guys… what’s going on?” Poe asked awkwardly. Rey wrenched her gaze away from Ben and turned to Poe. He and Finn were staring wide-eyed, each carrying a six pack. Rose’s eyes were jumping back and forth between Rey and Ben, gobsmacked, while Phasma was looking at the building behind them, eyes rising with every level. It was clear to Rey they had been standing there for a long while. It seemed this night would not end with her dignity intact.

“This is Ben. Ben Solo.” Rey finally supplied.

“The guy who ghosted you after you saved his life?” Trust Finn to take away that lesson from her infrequent stories.

“The guy who brought down the First Order because they put a hit on you, turning his back on a life of crime like an old Core romance novel?” Everyone turned to look at Poe. “What? My sister’s were always reading them. And that is romantic. Although, aren’t you dating Phasma?”

“Actually that was a ruse.” Phasma explained, “Shall we discuss this in its entirety upstairs? I’m cold.” And without waiting for the group she headed for the front door. Finn turned to Phasma’s direction and became distracted by the building itself.

“You live here?” Finn asked, sounding impressed and very much not wanting to be.

“That explains why you looked at Rey like you’re already in love with her!” Rose supplied. Rey wanted to scream.

“Right.” She said, and ignored the group as she trailed after Phasma, standing together off to the side in a warm foyer. Phasma reached for Rey’s shoulder, giving a gentle squeeze, letting her hand rest there. It could nearly be considered maternal.

“You know I think Ben is the smartest idiot I’ve ever met.” Rey huffed out a laugh.

“How much did everyone hear?” Rey asked, turning around so that she didn’t watch everyone come inside, nor look at Ben as he let the doorman know he had guests.

“We caught the last act.” Phasma answered. She paused, and then spoke carefully, “You know it’s not my place to meddle.” Rey looked at Phasma with a look of incredulity, “Well overly, but I feel I must state something I’ve found about your Ben Solo-”

“He is not-” Rey burst out, venom lacing her words.

“Ben seems to breathe for you, and if he thought he could save you from more pain by hiding the truth from you, even if it greatly aggrieved himself, he would do it.” And with that bombshell dropped Phasma let go of Rey’s arm. “Now, let’s make our way to the group, neither of us know Ben’s apartment number.”

Rey actually did know what apartment number was Ben’s, but she followed Phasma in muted silence, her mind turning over what she’d said. Phasma’s words niggled at Rey’s brain, making her feel as if she were missing something important. But Rey was exhausted and hungry, and frankly still drunk, so she pushed them to the back of her mind and filed into the elevator with the rest of the group.

In the enclosed space Rey could hear everyone breathing; certainly Poe’s remark to Ben.

“I was sure she was going to kill you, has Rey always had a temper?” It was now, unfortunately, extremely clear that while Rey had been with Phasma the group had been asking Ben questions about her.

“Actually of the two of us she was the more even tempered one.”

“Fascinating.”

This was the most awkward elevator ride of Rey’s life.


	3. 3

Rey often fantasized about what it would be like when Ben returned and met her group of friends. She had imagined them starting off in a neutral place, explaining inside jokes, helping to ease together the dynamics between her longest friend with her new group. Never, in all her different imaginings had Rey thought she’d be leaning against the kitchen sink, coat still on, as she watched everyone sit around Ben’s kitchen counter with plates of lasagna and open beers, laughing at Ben’s retelling of one of their many battles, when she’d somewhat accidentally caused his facial scar.

This was going better than she’d imagined, and she couldn’t handle it.

Rey had heard Ben tell this story before, but she’d never heard his tone so jovial, his words so praiseworthy of her, it was intoxicating and confusing and just too much. Without a word Rey left the kitchen, looking for a place to sort out her thoughts.

It should have come as no surprise that Rey found herself in the bathroom, her face pressed into her knees as she awkwardly hunched over herself in the massive tub. Rey turned Phasma’s words over in her head as she heard the group laugh, feeling outside of the group and calming herself with the knowledge that she could return to them at any time. It was just so hard to think with Ben there.

Minutes passed in quiet contemplation, and then the bathroom door opened and closed.

“You know a normal person would knock.” Rey said to her knees, refusing the need to look up and see Ben. She listened to him settle down beside the tub, smelled lasagna with such potency they’d either had a food fight or he’d brought her some.

“Would that same person be fully clothed in a bathtub?” Ben asked. His voice sounded too close.

“It’s just efficient, wash yourself and your clothes at the same time.” Rey supplied, echoing a conversation they’d had years ago. She felt such a pull to him, even then, even now.

“Hmm.” Ben responded. And then calmly reached over to turn on the faucet. Rey opened her eyes at the sound but she could only watch in bafflement as the water hit her.

“Ben!” Rey yelled in astonishment. She jumped at the spray, slapping away his hand to turn off the water. In the handful of seconds it had taken to manage the handle she’d thoroughly soaked herself; “Are you mental?”

“I prefer you angry to morose.” He supplied unhelpfully, and then with a smile, “And I’ve been waiting years to do that.”

“What, drench me?” Rey asked carelessly as she stepped out of the tub, deciding with a pang that it made no sense to sit in a wet tub. Ben’s silence led Rey to replay her words, and a faint blush lit her features as she struggled to ignore what she’d said. More for something to do than because she actually wanted to, Rey unhooked her coat, trying to contain the puddle at her feet. “I can’t believe you did that.” In an act Rey would later classify as contrition Ben leaned over and began untying her right shoe.

It was- it wasn’t erotic, Rey decided. It was simply economical, or efficient, or some other Ben decision that seemed dangerously sweet but was really practical. Most likely he didn’t want her to slip. It didn’t matter in the least that he was lifting her leg to slide off her right shoe, his hand cradling her heel. She barely noticed that his hand trailed up her leg, coming to rest for the briefest of moments on her knee before peeling down her sock. She wasn’t watching him with wide eyes as he slowly lowered her foot and hesitated before letting go. And she certainly didn’t feel an existential relief that humans evolved to have two feet, so that the process would be repeated.

It was unfortunate then that Rey moaned the moment her foot touched the tile. It would have gone unnoticed if the Holocaster were on outside, or if either of them were talking, but the only sounds in the room was the drip of her coat, hanging off the lid of the tub (when had it gotten there?) and so at the sound Ben’s eyes immediately flicked upwards to meet hers. Rey had seen the look he was giving her just earlier that night, it shouldn’t still affect her just as much. But his fingertips were still touching her foot, and it had to be the angle, how often did she look down at Ben?

“Is um, is your floor heated?” Rey asked, cringing at how she sounded. Desperate. Nervous. She expected Ben to smile at her for that, it was a long running joke that she was made for the desert, constantly seeking out warmth. Instead his eyes left hers, the corners of his mouth slightly turned down as he moved to her left foot. His movements were more jerky, less careful, yet still precise as he repeated his ministrations.

“Yes.” It hadn’t been before though. Rey wanted to point out. She wanted to ask him if he’d done it for her. But Ben seemed clinical in removing her sock, and Rey didn’t have the energy to demand more from Ben.

“It’s nice,” She said instead. Rey glanced around the room, desperate for something to distract her from the difference in Ben’s demeanor. The bathroom looked the same, more or less. She’d already snooped through the medicine cabinet, checking to see if anything to possibly belong to a woman. No evidence there. However his cabinet hosted far more towels than she remembered. Rey wondered if she could ask Ben if he’d gotten more towels for any purpose without him divining why she wanted to know.

“Here.” Ben called her attention back, and she looked down at Ben. Ben, who was holding a plate of lasagna in front of her. A rush of affection swept through her as she realized Ben had noticed she hadn’t eaten and brought her food. After a brief hesitation Rey accepted the plate, sitting down next to him. The first bite was heaven. Rey thought back to the first time she’d eaten Leia’s cooking; how awkward that had been.

“Thanks.”

“They want you to come to dinner next week.”

“Do they?” Rey asked around a bite of food, hoping to annoy Ben with her table manners. Ben eyed her fondly. If anything he seemed wistful, watching her devour her food.

“If you’re free.” Rey listened as Ben took a breath, like he was gearing up for something important. Rey didn’t know if she could handle anything else from this night.

“So when do I get them?” Rey asked obliquely. Still, Ben understood.

“They’re in my nightstand. I assumed if I brought them to you now you’d forgo food in favor of reading them.” Rey took a large bite (even for her) as posture, but they both knew he was right.

“Phasma says,” Ben began, and Rey did not like where this sentence was going, “You haven’t been with anyone.” Yep. Terrible conversation. Rey rolled her eyes.

“Thanks Phe.”

“It’s true then?” Rey thought about lying, but as she ate his mother’s lasagna, sat in his heated bathroom in damp clothes, and heard the sound of her friends watching something on Ben’s Holocaster (where was this noise before?!) Rey realized how tired she was. Sometimes it was harder not to have difficult conversations. With a concentrated effort Rey made eye contact with Ben, trying to prepare herself.

“Phasma also says that you’re still in love with me and would spare me from any hurt in this world.”

“Rey...” Rey put the fork back on the empty plate, and placed it on the floor. She hadn’t taken her eyes off of Ben, and didn’t intend to start. Ben looked at her warily, unsure what she was doing.

“I have a question.”

“Just one?”

“When did you get the messages I sent you?”

“I..”

“Was it after you got back? Four months ago?”

“Yes.” It took all of Rey’s composure not to wilt at his response.

“I thought so. You said you might not have access to your phone, so I thought you might..” Rey cleared her throat, ignoring how she felt. “Fact 1: You wrote to me for six months even though you thought I was too angry to write back. Fact 2: You waited four months to seek me out, even after reading what I sent you. Logical conclusion: Something happened after you got back to make you not want to see me. Correct?”

“I always wanted to see you.” Rey’s eyes burned.

“At first I thought you were worried I’d be furious since I didn’t know you’d written, but I think we both know there’s not much I wouldn’t forgive you for.” Rey paused, watching Ben. “So it had to be about Luke, there must have been something more involved with him not turning over your letters. He.. he doesn’t think I’m right for you since you’ve left Snoke and worked so hard on yourself at Ach-To. And your parents agree-”

“Rey!” Ben pleaded, reaching over and roughly pulling her against his chest, Rey let him without protest, her arms hanging limply; “No, Maker- of course not, anyone who’s met us knows I’m the one reaching, you can’t think- you know my parents love you-”

“Then why?” Rey asked, unable to imagine any other scenario.

“He.” Ben began, his tone so vicious it was clear he really meant far worse, “told me you weren’t doing well the first couple of months I was gone. He thought if you’d gotten my letters, if I'd gotten yours- If we were in communication - if you’d given an inkling of what was going on I would have abandoned my training and gone back to you.”

“Luke thought that?”

Ben looked at her, pained and unsure how to continue.

“He was right. The only reason I stuck it out is because I thought you were furious with me, and I wanted to become a better man, to be worthy of us. Rey- you’re the most important thing in my life, especially after everything you did. And when I came back and found out what _he_ did, Luke’s always been manipulative with me, but to you-.” Ben exhaled loudly, clutching her so tightly she felt his desperation. “I know that Luke’s always been the one person you could rely on since you were a kid. I didn’t want you to lose that- to know that he’d use you like a Dejarik piece to get what he wanted.” Rey sat in Ben’s lap in shock. Unbidden she tried to defend Luke, the behavior so ingrained in their relationship she didn’t know how not to. Her mind flashed back to when Ben left Snoke, Luke crying over her hand.

“He finally got you back, he just wanted to protect you.”

“He should have put you first.” Ben said vehemently, “He shouldn’t have let you think I abandoned you, or put me in an impossible situation when I got back where I’d either have to expose his machinations and destroy your only parental figure you trusted or keep us apart.” Rey had no response. Instead she focused on Ben’s hands on her back, his chest rising and falling, how nice it felt to be so close to him. How his body felt so familiar to her, yet different. The man who left wouldn’t have cared who he hurt to get what he wanted.

“This is.. A lot.” Rey finally said. “I think I need some time to process.”

“Oh.” Ben replied. Rey’s response had clearly thrown him.

“I mean, it’s been ten months-”

“Technically nine months and twenty three days.”

“Ben.”

“And seven hours.”

“SO awhile, and even though your intentions were noble, and I get why you did it, you read what I sent to you, you knew how much I missed you, but I didn’t know what you intended to do, and I had finally begun to accept that you weren’t coming back for me.” Rey didn’t know if this was true. Certainly she had told all her friends this, and she had forced herself to make day trips that took her out of the city, no longer within easy reach if he returned, but her chest ached with missing him, she found herself thinking of him when something amusing happened, and her eyes still sought for his in a crowded room.

“So you could wait thirteen years for your parents to show up but not even ten months for me.” It was a vicious thing to say. It was horrible and so very like the Ben she’d grown up with. Someone hurt him so he’d have to hurt them back, but far more thoroughly.

“Do you really want to compare yourself to them?” Rey asked slowly.

“I came back for you Rey! I would have come sooner if Luke hadn’t-”

“But you didn’t!” Rey strained to keep her voice at a reasonable level. “You didn’t and I had to figure out who I was without you, and I have friends now, who know how I grew up and still like me! And I’m going to college and I have a normal job, can we just, can’t we go slowly? Can’t you give me that?” All at once the fight went out of Ben.

“Are you sure you don’t want the Millennium Falcon instead?” Ben joked, hand reaching to tuck her hair behind an ear. All at once the tension in the room dissipated. Rey has never felt more relieved.

“Who says I don’t want both?”

“Glutton.” Ben said fondly. It was the first word Ben had ever said to her. Incidentally, it was also the first word Rey had looked up in a dictionary that had mysteriously appeared on her landing. Ben reached for her hands. Softly turning them over to check for indentations.

“That’s me.” And then, because she couldn’t not say it, “I want to hear about your life. Do you have a job? Pick up any new hobbies? Finish up third year?”

“I retook a few finals.” Ben answered, bringing a palm up to kiss. “Pining for you.” He moved to her fingers, lips trailing soft brushes, “Seems you’re the college kid now.” He pressed her hands together, resting over his heart. “I love you.” He hadn’t said it before. Not really. Not when he wasn’t trying to manipulate her or had a head wound. Rey couldn’t have stopped her response if she’d tried.

“I love you too.”

“And you still want to-”

“Be friends, you know, work our way up to best friends. We could even be roommates in a year or two.”

“And you’re not dating anyone?” Ben asked. His voice was wooden, his hands frozen, keeping hers.

“Who would I be dating?” Rey asked, amused.

“Finn seems overly keen on you.”

“He’s been spending too much time with Poe. We’re just friends.”

“Hmm.” Ben responded, “And you haven’t dated anyone since I’ve been gone?” It was so presumptive to ask, as though he deserved to know. But Rey had to admit she was sitting on his lap, her hands pressed against his heart, so near him she could feel his breath on her lips.

“No.” Ben gave a half smile, and Rey’s heart flipped. Oh she’d missed that smile. “Aren’t you going to ask me?”

“I don’t care if you have.” Rey lied baldly.

“Yeah, I could see you not caring when I came in with Phasma.” Rey wrinkled his nose, pushing against his chest to free her hands. Ben let her go and she settled against the tub, purposely adding distance between them, her legs stretched out.

“Rey, there’s no one but you.” For the third time that night Rey blushed, but she couldn’t say she minded.

“Well that’s true.” She agreed. And then leaned her head against his shoulder. Ben hesitated a moment and then snaked his arm around her waist, pulling her flush against his side. His fingers roved over the skin not covered by her skirt. Rey felt serene in that moment, curled up next to Ben, listening to her friends laughing in the other room, for once perfectly content and whole. She could fall asleep like this.

Ben had other ideas.

“You should probably take this off.” Ben stated, his fingers curling around the edge of her shirt, “you could get a cold.”

“You weren’t worried about it before.”

“Before I could see your nipples.”

“Ben!” Rey exclaimed, laughing and failing to show she was not amused.

“But now that we’re taking it slow you should really cover them.” Ben’s hand moved from the edge of her shirt, fingers spread across her rib cage. Rey meant to sound derisive, instead she sounded breathless, watching Ben’s fingers spread around her midsection.

“Oh yeah? With one of your many towels?” Ben chuckled.

“I got them for you.” He replied.

Rey turned her head, looking at Ben as he watched his hand continue its ascent, fingers spread so that his hand would catch as much of her flesh as possible. He hesitated the moment before his thumb reached the underside of her breast, and she shouldn’t have, but Rey leaned, ever so slightly, and Ben continued his ascent, his hand reaching to cover her.

This time when Rey moaned it was unmistakably from the heat of Ben’s hand, from how desperately she wanted it against her. Despite Rey’s prostrations just before she shuddered, leaned fully into his touch, eyes unblinking. She was desperate to keep his hand there, to make his fingers move so he would continue. For his other hand to reach under her skirt.

“Ben.” Rey panted. His eyes flicked to her, and then became impossibly dark, he leaned in, his other hand coming to grip her thigh. Rey grabbed his shirt, pulling him in closer - when there was a knock at the door. Rey jumped, Ben froze. Both cursed their luck.

“Rey, I’m so sorry but I really need to pee!” Rose called out through the door.

“Oh yeah no problem!” Rey responded, not entirely sure what she'd just said. She watched Ben as his face morphed from amorous to murderous. “Just a sec!” But she made no move to get up. “Ben, we’re ok, aren’t we?” She asked, unsure of what she needed reassurance from, but desperate all the same. Ben sighed and then reached for her face, tilting it slightly to kiss her nose.

“Five by five.” He responded, and Rey burst out laughing as he helped her up.

“I can’t believe you remember that!” She nearly cackled, accepting Ben’s offer of a towel to wrap herself in.

Ben smiled at her as he opened the door and Rey felt that same serenity as before, that everything was back in place.

“Uh Rey, did you take a shower with your clothes on?” Rose asked, baffled.

Epilogue

At 9:47am, in the cool autumn morning, when all was sleepy and quiet and largely joyous, Rey opened another letter with Ben.

“Wow, they made you do a lot of meditation in nature.”

“You don’t need to read every single one.”

“Yes I do Ben, they’re my letters.” Rey sing-songed, ignoring a stack of pancakes, mound of eggs, and platter of sausages in favor of the bundle of letters in front of her. Ben was vaguely drinking a cup of coffee (“It’s supposed to be black Rey, what’s the point of coffee if you dilute it with cream and sugar.”) but really he was running his fingers across Rey’s knee, his eyes hadn’t moved from Rey’s face, watching her as she twisted a lock of hair and made faces as she pored over the paper in her hand.

Watching Ben and Rey was everyone else.

“Guys, this is weird.” Poe said, having woken up five minutes before. At first Poe thought the late night drinking and everyone sleeping in Kylo, or Ben’s living room led to his foggy state, but no, it was Ben and Rey. He’d never met two people so in sync.

“It was worse before you got here. They were just standing in the kitchen, looking at each other.” Rose added helpfully, drinking juice.

“I can barely eat.” Finn added, refilling his plate.

“And they’re insisting they’re just friends?” Poe continued, rubbing his face.

“We can hear you, you know.” Rey put in, turning the letter over. Ben had actually been actively tuning everyone out.

“Rey, I think it would be better for the group if you guys sleep together. This whole dynamic,” Poe explained, waving a sausage between Ben and Rey, “is weird.”

“We’ll take that under advisement.” Rey responded, grabbing a cup of juice. It was Ben’s cup. He didn’t say anything.

“I just don’t understand how they can be so chipper after staying up all night talking.” Rose added.

“We might need to institute a rule about them not sitting next to each other if this continues.” Finn groused, spearing an egg.

“I give it two weeks before they’re in each other’s beds.” Phasma included.

How exceedingly unfortunate for everyone involved that it would take significantly longer than that.

  
END PART 2

**Author's Note:**

> This AU had been on my plate for more than half a year. It began as a desire to write a Rey/Ben Roommates AU, but while in the middle of that work I realized I had to start on this one to have it make sense, and then while in the middle of this work I realized it needed another prequel if we were to understand anything, and thus my friendly desire for a light story grew and grew until it nearly eclipsed me. 
> 
> This entire story has been written and will be updated within the next few days, the "And they were roommates!" fic is complete and will be published next, and the prequel - which I will obviously be posting last- is nearly finished. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it.


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